Strange Lands/Conversations

Boy

Boy: Mister! 'Scuse me, mister! Are you guys gonna go into these mountains? There are lots of soldiers wearing black up there. Those guys...they killed my poppa and burned our village. That's why we went to the mountains in the first place. You're gonna go up there and take care of 'em, aren't you? Gonna make 'em pay? Please, mister, say that you are! My momma and my sister and me don't have anywhere else to go, and I wanna go back to the cabin my poppa built.
Ike: I understand. We're going to take care of those guys. You just stay here a bit longer. All right?
Boy: Yay! Go give 'em heck, mister! Oh, wait! Wait! I heard those guys talking about something, too! They said if anyone comes up the mountain single file, they'd get 'em all at once. It was something like that anyway.
Ike: Really? That's a lot of help. Thanks.
Boy: Good luck, mister!! Kill 'em all! Do it for my poppa!

Bastian

Ike: Excuse me, do you have a moment?
Bastian: Forsooth! What ho! My eyes behold Sir Ike! Pray tell, what would you ask of me, good sir?
Ike: Um...well... I just wanted to chat. I try to speak with all the members of the army when I have a minute.
Bastian: I see! A fine idea that is, good sir. Some generals hope their soldiers all to be aloof, and ready always for the fight. If all goes well, sweet happiness abounds. But if the tides do turn, then anger grows. One wonders if he can lead men at all... I, too, am often plagued by such grim thoughts.
Ike: Uh...yeah. Listen, I--
Bastian: Yet you walk out among your men-at-arms: spin tales, tell jokes, and lend a willing ear. Huzzah, dear sir! Huzzah until the end! In truth, I did much fear your name at first. I swore to find the mettle of the man, and studied you with cautious, steady eye. I thought to find yourself a brutish rogue. A villain crafty in his fiendish plans! With status and great wealth his only goals. Had such been your own ethic and deceit, I would have taken measures sure and swift to see your person vanished in the night. Yet lo! What do I find before mine eyes? A man so noble, true, and without peer, as would beset the moon herself with lust!
Ike: ...
Bastian: General?
Ike: Zzz... Wha--? Huh? ...Er... Sorry about that. Must have dozed off. What were you saying? Something about the moon or...something?
Bastian: Commander, you are tired and unaware of how your body doth cry out for rest. If it would please you, I was of a mind to partake in a sweet and soothing draught. A beverage warm, and pleasant to the lips.
Ike: ...Um, if you're offering me a cup of tea in your tent, I'll accept. ...That IS what you're offering... Right? Oh, and I apologize in advance if I fall asleep again. I'm really tired.
Bastian: Your words do make my ears alive with joy! I shall regale you with a tale or two, and poems to ease the savage toll of war.

Man

Largo: Hey there, little man! I've got serious business with the general of this army. Take a message, will ya?
Ike: And you would be...?
Largo: The name's Largo, and I'm a world-class berserker!
Ike: World-class berserker... That's a rather dubious title.
Largo: What's this? You doubting my strength? I can pin a tiger with my bare hands! That's not just hot air either!
Ike: Dubious.
Largo: You think I'm fooling with you? Have your general hire me and then see for yourself! You can decide how much I'm worth after you see me in action. But let me tell you, if the gold's not good enough, pffft! I'm gone!
Ike: Huh? All of this sounds vaguely familiar... But at least you're confident.
Largo: Like I said. World-class berserker. Here, watch me bend this lance. Rrrrrrrrrr!!!
Ike: ... All right. You're in.
Largo: Yes! So, uh, how about taking me to meet the general?
Ike: I'm the general.
Largo: Wah? Bwaa ha ha ha ha ha haaaaa! That's good! You're a funny little guy! Bwaa ha ha ha haaaa!! So, seriously. Where's the general's tent? Must be that big one there.
Ike: ...
Calill: Largo?
Largo: Hey! I thought I'd find you here, Calill! You're looking hot! Almost as hot as me! Bwaaa ha ha ha haaaaaa!
Calill: Did you come looking for little old me? Oh, how sad for you. My contract with this army isn't up for quite some time.
Largo: Yeah, I thought you'd say that. That's why I'm joining up, too!
Calill: What? Are you really going to hire Largo, General Ike?
Ike: That's the plan.
Largo: Huh? This little guy really is the general? Bwa ha ha ha! Don't I look like the biggest fool around? And I mean big! Rrrrrrr! Sorry if I offended you, little guy!
Calill: Oh... He's such a clown. But you made a good hire. After all, he's a world-class--
Ike: Berserker. Yeah, I heard.
Calill: He pinned a tiger with his bare hands! Two of them, actually. At the same time.
Largo: Bwa ha ha ha haaaaa! Yeah, that was awesome!
Ike: ...Definitely dubious...